some image

Month December 2013

Stop Being Common!

Tags: , , , , , blog, blog app No comments

Do you ever feel like you see these people every day and don’t really talk to them? Have you been told lately by your partner about a BBQ, a dinner party or the in-laws visiting, that you didn’t know about and you’ve ONLY got an hour to get ready?

Well, if this is you, or you can relate to this, then you’re not alone! When I say, really talk, I mean not about the weather or what you had for lunch. But really talk about what’s important and what really matters. We tend to fall into quantity of conversation not quality of conversation. It’s what I call Common Conversations. Where there are a lot of words being spoken or conversations being had, but not really with any substance! It’s those conversations that you keep repeating. Those ones about what you did for the day or who you saw shopping or who wore what to work. Who wants to be Common?

On one level it is important to have these common conversations, but too many of them or not enough Conversations with Quality, are what can pull couples and families apart. Losing touch with each other or not having meaningful, deep conversations with your kids, is an easy way to feel like you are living in a house with complete strangers instead of your family.

One way of making sure you have Quality Conversations, as either a couple or as a family, is through Family Meetings or what I call “Love Ins”! Love Ins are specifically designed to talk about what’s important in all areas of family life. Focusing on issues or concerns that really matter. Some of the areas that you can address are: Home Life, Personal Life/Emotions, Finance, Career, Goals, What I love about you, Something Loving you have done this week.
So if you want to really talk and you want quality conversations, conversations that count, then stop being Common and start having some Love Ins!

By Gerry Huston

The Money Game

Tags: , , , , , , , , blog, blog app No comments
featured image

I was reading a post by one of our coaches recently. And he shared the thoughts of a guy, recently divorced, who had some tips on how to keep a marriage alive and happy. Brilliant, insightful stuff. Learned the hard way. But when you learn something the hard way, it’s never forgotten, is it. This guy’s next marriage is guaranteed to be awesome.

And he’s really on the mark about the issue of money. After all, financial worries can really stress a marriage, can’t they. Especially at this time of year. And he puts it quite simply. Money is a game. A game you can play together. As Mary says, just numbers on a page. And the thing is, when we look at money from this perspective it does wonders to lighten the stress. Because games are designed to be fun, aren’t they.

When I work with people it often surprises them when they discover just how much their performance can suffer under pressure. Most people don’t realise tension produces poor performance. Well, maybe we know this in the bedroom. But it happens in all areas of our lives. And it’s a scientific fact that when we’re under pressure, most of us don’t think so clearly. And our brains can go to mush as the adrenalin gets the better of our minds, not to mention our bodies. Not surprising then we make poorer decisions.

When it all gets too serious, it’s a sign things aren’t going so well. Time to do something different. Time to lighten up.

Sure there are exceptions. People who actually perform better under pressure. And these are the people who have learned how to manage the stress. Because they’ve discovered one of the great secrets of financial success, in business and in life, is to have fun. And while the business of money can be serious, the people that win the money game are the ones who know how to introduce a lightness into the situation, despite the pressure. Allowing them to see all possibilities. All those opportunities just waiting to be discovered.

Having fun. It’s an essential financial asset.

And a choice we can all make daily.

Where can you create more fun?

Little Bits of Gold

Tags: , , , , , , , blog, blog app No comments
featured image

Effective listening. It’s such an important skill. Because it allows you to pick up all those little bits of gold that are floating out there in the ether. But few people practise it. Too busy with their own thoughts and the next sentence in their mouth to hear other people’s wisdom. Too caught up in their own lives to pay attention to someone else’s.

But wisdom is all around us if you stop and listen. And just stopping to take the time to listen to other people’s stories can do wonders to enrich your life. Because it brings connection, and that’s essential for the human psyche. Huge rewards in such a simple act. Maybe it’s the woman at the supermarket. Maybe it’s the guy who collects your garbage.  Maybe it’s the business man you stand behind in the coffee queue. Maybe it’s the homeless guy down the street. Many people don’t realize just how much it pays to listen.  And be in the moment. Because we’re all experts. Experts at doing life our own way. And we can learn so much from each other.

I am fortunate to have friends who don’t know their own wisdom. But I recognize it in them. And when they speak, I listen. And I learn. Pearls of wisdom. Little bits of gold. Brilliant at what they do, but humble too. Not realizing the gifts they have to share. I often wonder just how many successful ideas have come just by listening to other people’s needs and then devising ways to meet them. Or how many casual acquaintances have become life long friendships because someone chose to listen.

The art of listening. It’s such a gift.

What could you gain by becoming a more effective listener?

What would it mean to your relationships, your work, your business and your life?