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Month August 2015

Why we get stuck

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You might have heard me say in a seminar that, “There are only six stories” people come up with and that the only difference is the details.

You may not know Renee Bressi but she asked me to elucidate, so my reply to her is below.
(Thanks Renee – good question!)
It cuts to the core of how we get and stay stuck and gives a generalised solution.
Grab a cuppa and enjoy what I’m sure will make a difference in your everyday life.
The Six Stories Is A Bit Of An Enigma
As students of personal development you’d be forgiven for thinking that un-packing these stories is the key to understanding everything – and that’s fair enough.
But I’m sure you have noticed on your own journey that they become a bit inconsequential.
The truth is that the stories are figments of our imagination at several levels:
1. Who Says They are True, Accurate & Factual? 
Most families have wildly differing version of what took place on any one day.
2. We Keep The Stories Alive By Obsessing Over Them.
Constantly repeating “the truth” just makes it feel authentic.
3. The Distortion Continues Unabated.
We don’t just remember it as it was – we remember it as it was when we last remembered it.
That’s why most stories get exaggerated over time ala “the fish was thiiiiiiiiiis big…”
4. What Happened Doesn’t Matter As Much As The Decision You Made About Yourself In The Light Of That Happening. (story)
Eg, “I got caught in a bank robbery.”
  • and found my inner strength when I tackled the guy with the gun…
  • and now I cant go into a bank…
  • and didn’t speak up against the bad guys so I’m a gutless wonder…
  • and joined in with them – now I’m a thief
5. The Stories Keep Us Away From The Truth Of Our Existence In This Moment.
WHICH SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF US.
That truth is that we have everything we need (right now) to go to the next level.
The most common version of not embracing our daily potential to create miracles is that my growth lessons turn up disguised as problems – which I interpret in the light of my “story”.
Therefore I need my story to sound plausible. 
(If it isn’t – I’m all out of excuses for being a dickhead)
Therefore my story gets a massive sales job.
Others who buy it – gather around to have a pow wow.
Every second spent on the story is both a waste of time and a reinforcement of it as the “truth”.
So, I reckon you are right about there being five stories – three of which sound a lot like each other.
Which leaves us with 2 or 3.
Which is 2 or 3 too many.
The Solution.
1. Spend more time in the present – it releases you from the past.
   (which has nothing new to tell you)
2. Practice mindfulness.

  (six of the top selling ten books in the book stores at the moment are referring to it)

 

If you have any questions for me about the above, comment on this post and I will personally answer them.

 

The Power of (more than) One

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So it’s one of my greatest regrets. Selling our home on a double block in the leafy suburb of Strathfield in Sydney. And while I don’t regret our move to the country, keeping the house would have been a great business decision. Looking at those Sydney prices it’d be worth millions now. That hurts!

And while Sydney may seem out of reach for most first home buyers, an article that came my way about four sisters that busted $182K dollars worth of debt in just 2 years shows there’s a way to deal with those big dollar issues.

And the solution is in joining forces.

Story has it that these four 20 something year old girls were sick of their debt. All the usual stuff. Car loans, student loans, credit cards. And doing it on their own was going to make it a long, slow process. But then one of them had a brilliant idea. If they combined their income to blast out that debt, they’d be debt free so much quicker. Getting rid of the smaller debts first so they could whack all that money on the next biggest debt. Exactly what our Beyond Success Debt Terminator is designed to do. It’s not rocket science, but it does take discipline.

As one of the four sisters said, emotional setbacks were overshadowed by the amount of traction they were hitting with their debt. Today the girls are debt free and enjoying a holiday together with their parents – paid for upfront and in cash.

European families have been doing this for years. Generations banding together to help each other get ahead. And it seems to me if you want to get into the property market, and it’s a stretch on your own, banding together is a great way to go. Maybe you put the deposit together to help your kids get a foot in and then they pay you rent to pay off the mortgage. One day it will be theirs anyway. Maybe you buy a dual occupancy with your inlaws and you get into the suburb of your dreams but you’ve each got your own space. Or you live in one and rent out the other. Maybe as a family you all band together to buy one investment property, build the equity super quick and then do it all again.

The options are limitless when you start to think about the buying power that comes when you join forces. Just ask any IGA.

So what are your financial dreams?

How can you make them a reality?

 

PS: Make sure you watch our facebook page in the coming weeks for a great read on how the sisters beat their debt.

Big Rocks

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We were chatting about the importance of scheduling time for our big rocks on one of our recent teleclasses. And for me, taking time out to recharge is one of my big rocks. Something that’s a non-negotiable. Because taking time out is so important in reducing stress and getting those creative juices flowing again. In fact it’s so important that Mary and I schedule our events calendar only after we’ve put in place time out to recharge first.

 

But how easy is it to let the busyness of life take over? And before you know it the day is over and you’re just too damn tired to do the important things… like rest and recharge.

 

As one of my staff put it, it’s about making the decision to just stop. And to make this decision regularly. Every day in fact. The trick is to schedule in the down time before you schedule in everything else. Not always an easy thing to do.

 

But as they say if it’s important to you, you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find an excuse.

 

The thing is when you’re taking time out to meditate, play, rest and do the things you love, with people you love, you’re doing far more than you realise. Switching genes on and off for instance. How many of you realised that before? When you take time out to reduce stress you actually turn genes off that are involved in creating disease. Diseases like cancer and diabetes.

 

Believe me, once you’ve been there, you never want to go back. So that’s why reducing stress is one of my big rocks.

 

But taking time out also allows those creative juices to kick in. Have you ever noticed how much clearer you can think when you’re relaxed? Or how some of your best ideas just seem to pop up out of nowhere and deliver the goods when you take time out.

 

To be successful in life, in business, in relationships, in health, beating stress is one of the biggest rocks you need to master. And while you can’t always control what happens to you, you can learn to control how you respond. And how much stress you allow to pump through your body.

 

Have you scheduled your down time in today?

Inside Out

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Have you seen it yet? Inside Out? Such a great little movie about all those emotions we have running around inside our heads. And how important they all are. The ‘good’ and the ‘bad’. Turns out the ‘bad’ aren’t so bad after all and if you don’t know what I’m talking about you’ll just have to go see it for yourself.

With Disney in on the importance of emotional intelligence, kids around the world now have a chance to learn something better than the stiff upper lip of previous generations. And that’s a great thing. Because as Jill Bolte Taylor puts it we are feeling beings that think. Not the other way round as most of the world wants us to believe.

Just stop and think about that for a moment.

We are feeling beings – that think.

So we really need to learn to manage our emotions if we want to succeed in life.

The thing is when we stick our heads in the sand or up the proverbial trying to pretend we don’t feel something it doesn’t work. Because the basis of our biology is emotional. Which means incoming information that enters your body every second of every day is processed by your emotional brain first. Only then does it hit our conscious awareness so you can think about it. So trying to pretend we don’t have emotions is no different to pretending we don’t have legs. And unless you’re a double amputee, we all have them. And we all have emotions. So it makes sense to learn how to manage them. How to master them.

It will be a great day when our kids report cards measure EQ as well as IQ. Maybe Disney has taken us one step closer. Our emotions, the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ are there to protect us. They need to be felt. Not rationalised. Not ignored. Not suppressed. Emotions need to be felt.

How’s your EQ?

What are you teaching your kids?