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Tag attitude

Game of Life

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I think Sir Edmund Hillary puts it best.

We don’t conquer the mountain, it’s us we need to beat.

 

And watching Nick Kyrgios in action this week the truth of that is pretty clear. Because the very thing that makes Nick such an awesome tennis player is the very thing that causes him so much grief. That “nothing will get in my way – go for it” attitude, which has him going for shots no-one else would even think of, is also his Achilles heel. Causing him to behave in ways that on reflection won’t be his proudest moments.

 

Being a Canberra boy, our local radio station has been kinder than the rest of the media. And yesterday they made a good point. That Nick’s biggest opponent is not the guy at the other end of the court. His biggest opponent is himself. And what’s going on between his ears. By his own admission, Kyrgios will be the first to tell you there’s a lot of stuff going through his head. It’s hard enough to work yourself out even without the pressure of the world watching your every move.

 

When it all boils down to it, the real game in life is the one you play when you go up against yourself. And when you’re not centred, not in control of yourself, your game will always be less than your best. Unfortunately for Nick Kyrgios he is learning this on the world stage. But watching Nick reminds me it’s a lesson for all of us.

 

How can you get more centred?

Where do you need to exercise more control?

Two to tango

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How do you change the way other people behave?

Short answer, you can’t.

But have you ever noticed that when they behave a particular way you behave in an equally predictable way?

The thing is we all get stuck in a particular way of behaving. And by the time we’re in our 30s our repertoire has become pretty narrow. Not quite hardwired, but pretty close. We get so good at what we practise.

Take for instance the people in your life that are always losing things. And you keep finding them. Or replacing them. Or take the person who keeps making mistakes and you keep fixing them. Or the partner who’s just too lazy to help around the house so you do it all. Well they’re going to just keep losing things, the mistakes will continue and you’ll keep doing all the work. Because there’s no real consequence for the other person that will force them to change. No reason for them to do something different.

When we behave in a predictable way we actually keep the problem going. Because it allows the other person to keep getting away with their less than ideal behaviour. It’s like a dance.

But what happens if we change things?

We stop fixing things, finding things, doing things?

Well my guess is the other person is going to have to do something different, aren’t they. Mightn’t like it. Might chuck the biggest tantrum because you’ve upset the status quo. You’re no longer doing what’s expected. But hey, what have you got to lose? You’re not happy with it anyway. My bet is you’ve got everything to gain.

As Ghandi said, be the change you want to see.

Want something different?

Why not make a change?

  

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”

Ghandi