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We get to choose

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We had a great coaching telelcass last week. It was all about how our food cravings have nothing to do with food. We learned heaps about how it’s really our emotions driving those cravings – and what we can do to change that – and there were some real gems that came up that stretched our thinking in other directions too.

They always do.

One of those gems was all about how we approach all the things we have to do in our lives. You know, the stuff we don’t really want to do. There’s tons of it isn’t there. But how we think about it has a huge impact on how we feel. And really it all boils down to our self-talk. What we say to ourselves about the things that need to be done. Because we can either feel like we HAVE to do something – which can make us feel resentful or miserable or angry (or… you name it) – or we can instead CHOOSE to do the very same task which gives us back control and with it the opportunity to feel something more uplifting.

One of the best examples I can think of is Mary’s Mum Lou. She lived with us for many years and one of her ways of loving us was to do the ironing. A pretty dull job in anyone’s book. But Lou turned it into something else. She would whistle while she ironed turning this boring chore into something joyful. Or she’d listen to her favourite country music. It was always done as a labour of love. Seen as a privilege, not with resignation. And she was like that with all the housework. All of us felt that joy with her and in the same way we all learn things from our parents Lou has passed that gift on.

The thing is we get to choose how we look at the world. We can judge stuff we have to do as bad and make ourselves feel like crap. Or we can choose not to judge, and just approach everything we have to do as an opportunity to create something more uplifting or joyful or peaceful or happy for ourselves.

You get to choose.

Now that’s powerful.

So where will you choose differently?

What’s Brewing

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So there was a show on recently about the world’s most expensive food. Coffee at $700 per cup for instance. So rare because it is eaten and pooed out by a critter in the Sumatran jungle as part of the processing. Needless to say a flavour all of its own. Or the Beluga caviar at over $50,000 per tin. So pricey because you have to wait 12 years to get your first eggs. Or then there’s the ice-cream made from melting glaciers in Africa or you might prefer the gold leaf from Dubai at over $1000 per scoop.

 

But of course if you’d prefer a meal in the world’s most expensive restaurant, you are welcome to book a seat at nearly $3000 per person. And you’ll have to fly there.

 

Prices like these show there’s more than enough money to go round. And it’s not just in the food industry. How about the client who rang me yesterday. Bored on a Tuesday afternoon so thought he’d go out shopping and buy a bit of furniture. Came home with a Ferrari all because his ‘old’ Audi needed new tyres.

 

Quite an insight into how the other half live isn’t it.

 

But the thing is there’s a market for it and smart people are positioning themselves to be in the business of selling to the people who can afford to buy. And making a handsome profit in the process. And while some people will sit in judgement of the lavishness of this lifestyle, it pays to remember that the wealthy are sharing their fortune with those ready to receive it every time they make a purchase.

 

It’s an exchange of value.

 

When money’s not an issue, the rich are looking for something else. An experience. A story. And any astute entrepreneur will see the opportunity to fill that gap.

 

Really it’s all about choice. The choices we make that bring money and opportunity our way. Or keep us struggling. And whether our choices are conscious or not, we are all making them, all the time. We can choose to be judgemental about the way other people live. Or we can choose to be in the business that provides goods and services to the rich and famous. It just takes a bit of know how, a good strategy and the confidence and mindset to make it happen.

 

We spent the last week with our business clients doing just that. Developing their entrepreneurial skills as they create profitable solutions to other people’s needs. And it’s exciting times.

 

The world is your oyster. There are some great opportunities out there. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be the one ordering the caviar. After all, that’s how my client got his Ferrari.

 

What are you waiting for?

The Fallacy of The Never Ending Story

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Your perceptions coupled with your mindset determine whether or not you achieve your goals. That is why it is in your interest to clear any hindrances that are not obvious especially the ones that lurk beneath your conscious mind; one such insidious game spoiler is The Story.

The Story is the wellworn narrative you tell yourself (and anyone who cares to listen) about why it is not possible for you to achieve your financial or health goals. Or why you will never find the partner of your dreams because you are convinced by the dreaded story about the lack of loving, dependable potential mates out there in the big bad world.

If left unchecked it morphs into The Burning Martyr Syndrome that looks to serve up the charred remains of what otherwise could have been a magnificent life of wealth, health and happiness.

How The Story got constructed may have been via some unpleasant/frightening experience where you felt threatened, vulnerable, diminished and certainly disempowered. It’s the feeling of helplessness, of not having the right of reply or being able to defend yourself that is likely to be at the root of The Never Ending Story.

I am not for a moment making light of past events where physical or emotional abuse, bullying or intimidation was inflicted upon you usually by an authority figure. Nor am I condoning the behavior of the person against whom you felt powerless.

But, running The Story is choosing to be the victim (still)

Essentially you are saying that unless the perpetrator apologizes, makes amends, shows remorse, acknowledges their mistake or is punished and now behaves in a manner that meets your approval, you cannot move on or be happy.

You are saying your sense of happiness is dependent on another person. Since when has another person been responsible for your happiness and fulfillment?

What if that person is dead? What then are your chances of getting closure?

Buckleys

You have no control over that event; however, what you do have absolute control over is how you choose to think, behave and act from that point in time.

So why are we loathe to let go of the story?

1) Because it justifies our reluctance to move on, (moving on takes effort). It allows us to take the high moral ground and feel self righteous. All the while each precious second that otherwise could have been dedicated to achieving what we want is frittered away.

2) Because of the time, emotional energy already vested in keeping it alive. The Story thrives on this emotional charge it receives with each retelling and reliving and takes on a life of its own. In fact there is scientific evidence to suggest that neural pathways associated with the memory and feelings are strengthened with each repeating of the event.

When will you give up on telling The Story?

When you have a big enough reason to; it will happen when you decide that it’s time to let go. For me it was simple as making a choice after I attended Illuminations Bootcamp. I recall Paul saying that until we sort out our relationships with father, mother, self and Source it will be a case of one step forwards two steps back, snakes and ladders and any other metaphor that illustrates the self sabotage and treachery your story supports.

I let go when I decided I had bigger fish to fry i.e., I identified huge personal and social goals I wanted to accomplish. It was when I got clear about why I am here and what I am to do until the day I am laid to rest.

Besides, the axe grinding was starting to lose its lustre and frankly it was beginning to be tiresome replaying the same event over and over again.

Funnily enough I had thought that I could never let it go because of all the anger, pain, angst that I had nursed through decades. Nah, that’s over rated; it’s perpetuated by people who have yet to discover their raison d’etre, that’s all.

The ball is in your court. What choice will you make today?