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Tag Communication

Stop Being Common!

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Do you ever feel like you see these people every day and don’t really talk to them? Have you been told lately by your partner about a BBQ, a dinner party or the in-laws visiting, that you didn’t know about and you’ve ONLY got an hour to get ready?

Well, if this is you, or you can relate to this, then you’re not alone! When I say, really talk, I mean not about the weather or what you had for lunch. But really talk about what’s important and what really matters. We tend to fall into quantity of conversation not quality of conversation. It’s what I call Common Conversations. Where there are a lot of words being spoken or conversations being had, but not really with any substance! It’s those conversations that you keep repeating. Those ones about what you did for the day or who you saw shopping or who wore what to work. Who wants to be Common?

On one level it is important to have these common conversations, but too many of them or not enough Conversations with Quality, are what can pull couples and families apart. Losing touch with each other or not having meaningful, deep conversations with your kids, is an easy way to feel like you are living in a house with complete strangers instead of your family.

One way of making sure you have Quality Conversations, as either a couple or as a family, is through Family Meetings or what I call “Love Ins”! Love Ins are specifically designed to talk about what’s important in all areas of family life. Focusing on issues or concerns that really matter. Some of the areas that you can address are: Home Life, Personal Life/Emotions, Finance, Career, Goals, What I love about you, Something Loving you have done this week.
So if you want to really talk and you want quality conversations, conversations that count, then stop being Common and start having some Love Ins!

By Gerry Huston

All Cocked Up

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So we have this rooster. He’s kind of adopted us. A runaway from the farm next door. Not surprising. The farmer pens him up, clips his wings and shoots him with rat shot trying to keep him from straying. And they reckon nature’s harsh. Besides, our hens probably look much happier. And so for the past month or so he has ventured over despite the ensuing punishment. Not much point in trying to send him home, he only comes back the next day. Roosting in the trees at night. Cleverly avoiding foxes. And he doesn’t bother us. In fact the girls seem pretty happy about the new arrival. And he’s quite the pretty boy.

Well last week, he decided our place was home as he put himself to bed with the girls. Half his luck. Quite a harem. And we decided it was time to sort this out once and for all. A casual visit to the neighbour and we offered to buy him a new rooster. It seems he had been traded in for greener pastures. But to our surprise the neighbour didn’t want a new rooster. In fact, he was just about ready to end the rooster’s days on earth and send him on to those greener pastures in the sky. It turns out he was just bringing him home any way he could because he thought  the rooster was bugging us. But truth is we weren’t bugged at all.

And I often wonder how often we get the story wrong. Make the wrong assumptions (would it be appropriate to suggest we go off half-cocked so to speak?). And it’s only in looking back we realize that what we thought was the case was really something else entirely. Well it almost ended in tears for the rooster. A near miss. He’s one lucky guy.

Is there a situation in your life you need to get clear about? Maybe now’s the best time of all….

Watch Your Language

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Canberra has some awesome road signs. Truly some of the best I’ve ever seen.

And I often wonder just who the brains trust is that dreams them up.

Because someone somewhere is getting paid for this stuff.

PEOPLE DIE ON ACT ROADS. That should encourage the tourists.

But there’s a special one that takes the cake for me.

And it simply says

THANK YOU FOR NOT SPEEDING

The sign may as well say

THANK YOU FOR SPEEDING

Because our subconscious mind works that way. It doesn’t hear the NOT. And so all these signs achieve is to implant the very idea of what they are trying to stop.

Speeding.

If I said don’t think of a green frog.

What are you thinking about?

language2A green slimy creature you’re now trying to get out of your head?

What happens when we tell our kids NOT to get into trouble.

They’re now thinking about trouble, aren’t they.

And if we tell someone it’s not scary you can bet your bottom dollar they’re now feeling a bit of fear.

It’s called the law of reversed effect.

So at the risk of sounding like your mother… watch your language. It can do wonders for your communication.