Did you know you people are twice as likely to cough at a concert than they are in day to day life? How weird’s that! And while it may be that people are just strangely uncomfortable at some level with sitting in silence (and cough to break it up), perhaps it’s because they are actually trying so hard not to cough that it actually makes the coughing worse. In some concerts they actually put a message across before the start telling people not to cough. No pressure there.
Have you ever tried not to do something?
It’s called the law of reversed effect. And basically this law states that the more we consciously focus on trying NOT to do something, the more we’re guaranteed to get it. In other words, what we resist persists. And of course when you’re ‘trying’ are you really going to achieve it anyway? Trying is just plain hard work.
How many of you know someone desperate to achieve something and when they finally give up trying it all just seems to fall into place?
Understanding how the mind works is so important if you want to achieve your goals. Just think about it for a minute… if you’re trying not to do something where’s your focus? It’s on exactly what you don’t want to be doing. It’s on exactly what you don’t want to happen. And there bang in the middle of your mind is exactly the picture of what it is you don’t want! Talk about sending yourself the wrong message. How many people live their lives focussed on exactly what they don’t want? No wonder there’s so many unhappy people out there.
But what happens if we focus on what we do want instead? Get really clear on what we want out of life. What we want to achieve. We send ourselves a different message, don’t we. We give ourselves a different picture to go after. And once we have that in mind, and we’ve taken all the action steps we need to, letting go and trusting our subconscious to go out there and make it happen, it really does take all the hard work out of it.
So next time you’re trying not to do something, take a minute and rethink it.
What are you trying not to do?
What could you be doing instead?